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“No.” She noticed the fear I didn’t try to conceal. “Kassandra, why are you afraid?” She looked utterly perplexed, as if she couldn’t fathom someone being intimidated by the fact their vampire girlfriend had just rocked their world without so much as laying a fingertip on any sexual bits.
Spent, I lethargically pulled my legs on the table and she let me go. My hands shook where I drew the robe closed, covering the front of my body.
“Kassandra?” She searched my face.
“That was,” I tried to find the words, “too strange for me, Lenorre. It felt great, but it freaks me out a little that you weren’t even touching me. Okay?”
“Kassandra,” she said slowly, carefully. “It was my power that brought you. How is it any different from what we did earlier? I did not enchant you. I merely focused my energy and brought you. How different is it from your witchcraft?”
I laughed, nervously, suddenly very uncomfortable. “No one has ever done that to me, Lenorre. Absolutely no one. It’s not humanly possible.” I couldn’t summon the will to meet her gaze, half ashamed at my own fear, half angry it existed in the first place.
And that’s why you’re freaking out, I thought. Idiot, you’re not human. You think shape-shifting is humanly possible?
Lenorre gave a frustrated cry and hit the table with the palm of her hand. The table shook with the impact and I jumped.
Her power made her eyes surreal and misty.
“No,” I said.
She grabbed my thighs, jerking me forward again with little gentleness. I used my arms and shoulders to catch the impact, trying to keep the back of my head from hitting the hard surface. Her mouth was suddenly between my legs, erasing any sense of panic that had threatened to rise. She licked me, her tongue swirling in an intricate circle around my clit. I tried to pull away from her out of sheer stubbornness.
Lenorre grabbed my hips, anchoring my body to her mouth. With her mouth between my legs, I didn’t know whether to run or grind myself against her face in pleasure.
I forced myself to struggle, to fight against her. Lenorre gazed up my body, tearing her mouth from my mound. “Stop!”
Like someone had slapped me across the face, I did so, my pulse pounding. With her power riding her, she sent an intoxicating thrill through me.
The thought of Lenorre forcing me to surrender all of myself to her excited me beyond thought. I wanted her to take me. I wanted her to fight me, to dominate me. I didn’t care if it was the wolf’s desire or my own. I wanted her to win me, to prove herself strong enough to sway me.
Her nails dug into my hips, and the pain was sweetly delicious. She positioned her mouth between my legs, sealing her lips over me and sucking my clit roughly into her mouth, so roughly I cried out in pleasure and pain as her fangs grazed me. Her tongue found a rhythm, coaxing me to obey. I writhed on the table like the wet and aching thing she made of me. I fought in vain. She held me to her mouth as our wills battled.
She drew it out for a long time, bringing me to the height of pleasure and keeping me there, suspended, filled with a need so heavy it hurt to bear it. I cried her name in a half moan. I pleaded with her. I begged her for release. I apologized in an attempt to coax her to bring me. How long she drew it out, I could not say. It seemed like it had gone on for hours, until I had finally given up hope, destined to ride the waves of pleasure, to burn like the phoenix in the flames of my own aching desire.
It built inside me, like some great wave seeking a shore of release that it could not find. Tears burned at the corner of my eyes and I cried. My body shook with silent sobs as all the pain, all the emotional baggage I had carried with me sank in the face of Lenorre’s passion. My hips bucked as she drove my body to that emotional ledge once more. The orgasm built again, threatening to burst. I cursed, crying out in frustration. I expected her to pull away, but she did not. At last, she conquered me completely. Her tongue brought me with a ragged cry of pleasure while the tears stained my cheeks.
Afterward, I lay unmoving. I was still crying when her arms encircled my body. Lenorre cradled me protectively and tenderly against her, carrying me with ease.
“Thank you,” I said when I could finally summon the will to speak.
Lenorre said the only thing she needed to. “You’re welcome.”
I rested my head against her shoulder and closed my eyes.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I rolled over yawning and got a mouthful of Lenorre’s velvety curls. Gently, I plucked the tresses out of my mouth and found a few of them were my own tangled strands. She was still out. Lenorre slept (if that’s what you want to call it) on her back. Her arms were crossed over her chest.
“Stereotypical vampire,” I mumbled, placing a kiss on her cheek and slipping from between the cool satin sheets.
No, not all vampires sleep with their arms crossed like that. Lenorre lay on her back a lot, but some mornings she died holding me. I didn’t like moving her when she was dead, and I didn’t want her dying with her face near my neck, because that meant she’d wake with her face near it if I couldn’t get away soon enough. A vampire plus a neck equals what? Therein lies my point.
The robe was at the foot of the bed, folded neatly over the wooden beam that mirrored the headboard. I picked it up, slipping it on. I needed some coffee and then a shower. First, I needed to find clothes to put on under the robe. I didn’t feel like trying to play cover-the-peek-a-boos to keep from flashing anyone. Rosalin was probably awake. The rest of the vampires would be just as dead as Lenorre.
I didn’t have any clean clothes, which gave me an excuse to rummage through Lenorre’s walk-in closet. It was decent-sized, with an obscene amount of silk. I found a pair of silk red pants with a drawstring and a matching button-up shirt and slipped them on, tying the drawstring and folding the waistband under so the pant legs wouldn’t drag on the floor—a trick we short people learn early on in life. I ran the silken sleeve of the shirt through my hands, trying to decide if I wanted to wear it, then brought the material to my face, inhaling sharply. It smelled like clean detergent, but beneath that scent was Lenorre’s. I slid it on and grinned when it came down to my knees.
The kitchen was bright and sunny. Someone had drawn back the shades on the window in the dining room. I squinted into the brightness.
Rosalin peeked out from the kitchen. “Pancakes?”
“Coffee,” I mumbled, distracted by the strange reflection on the window. Once I could approach the sunlight without squinting I peered outside.
The backyard was just as huge as the front yard. I think both were too big to be called yards. Acres, maybe, but not yards. The sunlight bounced off the crystalline body of water where rocks were stacked neatly to create a beautiful waterfall that trickled into the pool. It was strange to see it uncovered so late in the year. Maybe it was heated. A beautiful gazebo was off to one side.
I turned to find Rosalin standing patiently behind me holding a mug of coffee.
“Cream and sugar, right?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“No problem. You look very festive. It’s still a little early for red and green, isn’t it?”
She glanced down, looking at the pants, and gave a small laugh, shaking her head. “You raided Lenorre’s closet, didn’t you?”
I took a sip, my shoulders easing with the first taste. The real cream and sugar she’d put in it blended perfectly with the coffee, not masking the coffee’s flavor, but enhancing it.
“I didn’t bring another change of clothes.”
“You could’ve asked me for something. I’m closer to your size than Lenorre is.” She grinned, showing a row of perfect white teeth. “Though I have to admit, you look cute in oversized clothes.”
I shook my head. I never understood how Rosalin was always in such a good mood. Then again, she hadn’t just woken. One of these mornings, I should jump up and down on her bed like a maniac while she was sleeping. That sounded like fun. I’d like to see how coherent and cheerful
she was in the morning then. Rosalin made me feel grumpy.
She went into the kitchen and returned carrying a white mug with a rainbow on it. From where I was standing, the contents smelled like spearmint tea.
“Gods,” I said, sitting at the end of the table. “Even your fucking mug is cheerful.”
She laughed, nearly spitting out her mouthful of tea, then swallowed audibly. “What?”
I tilted my head to the side. “How do you do it? How are you always in such a good mood?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. ’Cause when I’m awake I’m awake?”
“Apparently.”
“I don’t charge to the coffeemaker first thing in the morning.”
“I don’t charge.”
“Seriously?” She laughed and I gave her an unfriendly look.
“Either way,” she said, “I’m not a coffee addict like you are.”
I shrugged. “That makes a little sense, but not much.”
She sat in the chair next to mine. “I had a very good time last night.”
Her words were so unexpected that instead of drinking the sip I’d taken, I ended up inhaling most of it. After I was done coughing, I blinked at her. “What?”
“I wish I had a camera. The look on your face.”
“What look?” I cleared my throat.
“I totally caught you off guard.” She started grinning again and I stared at her. There weren’t any marks on her neck, but if there had been, they would have already healed. I didn’t need the marks to know Eris had bitten her. She was damn near glowing.
A twinge of something flashed through me. Jealousy? Anger? Fear? I couldn’t tell, but whatever it was I carefully squashed it down and ignored it.
“You slept with Eris?” I didn’t have any reason to feel...this. Where the hell was it coming from? I didn’t even know Eris. Why would it bother me if Eris and Rosalin slept together? I tried to bring my thoughts to a quick halt.
She blushed, as if remembering what had transpired. “Well, no, not technically. I can see why you’re intimidated by her. She’s very...intense.”
“She doesn’t intimidate me,” I said carefully. “I rejected her offer because I didn’t want to cross Lenorre.”
“Lenorre told you she didn’t mind if Eris embraced you,” she said, and somehow managed not to make the word embrace sound intimate. “She gave you permission to make your own decision. You turned Eris down because you’re attracted to her and you were afraid you couldn’t keep being bitten by Eris from turning into something sexual. I was in the room, remember?” She seemed a little upset.
“I remember,” I said calmly, “and maybe you’re right, but it’s not because she intimidates me.”
“Kass, you are, just admit it. She intrigues you too.”
I gave her a cold look. “I won’t admit to that.”
“She’s very good at what she does, you know.”
I took a very careful sip so I wouldn’t choke this time. “So?” I said, but it came out more defensively than I’d planned.
Rosalin shook her head. “I have never known someone with so many hang-ups.”
“You make me sound like I’m a prude because I wouldn’t let her bite me.”
“You’re not a prude. You’re just difficult and highly selective.”
“I am. And, obviously, I made the right decision. I didn’t want things to get out of hand between us, and since it got out of hand with the two of you—”
“Oh, no,” she said with a wicked grin, “Eris is about control, remember? She’s a pro-domme.”
I didn’t want to hear any more. I got up, walked into the brightly lit kitchen, and rinsed my mug out in the sink. Then I placed it on the top rack in the dishwasher, trying to keep myself distracted. I didn’t need to be thinking about Eris and Rosalin in the same sentence. Admittedly, I considered Rosalin one of my best friends. It’s strange, no matter how old we get we still manage to maintain the idea of a best friend. Rupert was a good friend, but more like a brother. I worked with Arthur and got along with him most of the time, but sometimes his jokes went overboard and just irritated me. Rit and I worked together, but we’d only been out to have coffee once in the three years I’d known her. I watched Rosalin as she walked into the kitchen in her light gray sweatpants and pink tank top.
“You’re the closest thing to a best friend I have,” I admitted.
“That’s the first time you’ve actually said something really nice to me,” she said, making me feel a little bad, but evidently not intending to.
“I’m sorry. I know I can be a bitch...”
“You’re not a bitch. You were at first, before I got to know you, but once I did, I realized it was your way of keeping yourself safe.”
“If you haven’t noticed, I have a difficult time letting people get close to me.”
One moment she was walking around the island and the next her arms were solid around me. I was so caught off guard for a moment that I just stood there, and when she didn’t pull away I wrapped my arms around her lithe frame.
I’d break every one of Eris’s Goddess-damned fingers if she hurt her. Or at least I’d try to.
With her face buried in the bend of my neck I heard the deep intake of breath as her body relaxed against mine. It wasn’t sexual. It was comforting. My shoulders eased as I did the same to her, burying my face in her neck and inhaling her scent. Her perfume smelled soft and feminine, but beneath it was the earthy scent of wolf, of family.
“I would’ve preferred being promoted to more than just a friend,” she said. “I’m glad I’m your best friend and all, but being with you was fun. A lot of fun.”
I stood there, my face still buried in her soft skin, and tried to be uncomfortable but failed. Maybe it was the soothing scent of another wolf. But somewhere inside me, I trusted that she wouldn’t try to turn the situation into anything more than it was. I spoke against the fall of her auburn hair. “You had amazing sex with Eris, remember?”
“I can’t help it.” She sighed heavily. “I like sex, even if it’s just getting off on some woman’s fangs.”
I took a step back. “I know you do.”
“So do you,” she said, grinning again.
I clasped her shoulder. “Yes, but I like sex with my girlfriend. Besides, I thought you said most werewolves were monogamous. Whatever happened to that?”
Her eyes flicked to the marble counter by the sink. “I told you there were exceptions to the rule. We’re both dominant females. We’re allowed to pick and choose.” She shrugged. “I just haven’t found the right one, and until then I intend to enjoy being single.” She met my gaze and gave one of her fleeting smiles, but not before I’d seen the hurt look.
I touched her arm and she dropped her gaze to my hand. “I don’t like seeing you hurt.” I spoke softly. “If you need to talk, you know I’m here. You’ll find the right woman, eventually.”
“I miss being in a relationship,” she said abruptly. “I miss snuggling, and movies, and dinner, and learning about my partner’s little quirks. Lately, it’s just been sex.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re giving the sex away without a relationship contract.”
“A relationship contract?”
“Yes,” I said seriously. “You offer your body without asking for any form of commitment in return. When you make it look like what you’re offering is just sex, women will take it and leave it.”
“I told you I was interested in a relationship.”
“You beat around the bush about it and I wasn’t ready for one.”
“You got into a relationship with Lenorre.” Her tone was bland, but I could feel the tension behind her words.
I took in a deep breath and spoke carefully. “There was something there I couldn’t run from.”
“With me? How was it with me?”
“You were good,” I murmured, remembering. “I honor the experience, Rosalin. You’re the only other wolf I’ve been with. I just didn’t feel tha
t soul pull and, be honest, you didn’t either. It was just lust and metaphysics.”
“You’re right. But I am very fond of you.”
“I’m fond of you too.”
“You and I both know we make better friends. I just want someone, you know?”
“I know.” What else was I supposed to say?
“I still think we would’ve made wondrous fuck buddies.”
“And it’s back to sex. I swear, you think about it more than I do.”
Rosalin laughed. “I think we’re about even in that area. I’m just more open. You keep yours all bottled up and unleash it at random moments.”
I couldn’t help but give her an amused look. “Are you saying I’m explosive?”
“When it comes to emotions you can be.”
“I’m not that bad.”
“No,” she said with a grin, “you’re not that volcanic.”
“Thanks, Ros,” I said lightly, hopping up to sit on the island counter.
Rosalin rested her shoulder against the cabinet by the stove. “Are you going to the party tonight?”
“What party?” I asked, then remembered. “Are you referring to Lenorre’s Samhain Masquerade?”
“Yeah?”
“She hasn’t invited me.” I gave a small shrug. “I’m not much of a party girl. I can’t believe she’s trying to swing this thing with such short notice.”
“It’ll work,” she said confidently.
“How? Especially if she’s wanting all of her vamps to dress up in these exquisite costumes. How can they get them so quickly?”
“Lenorre’s got connections. She’s not dressing all the vampires, just the ones working the floor. She’s already hired a handful of skilled tailors and seamstresses.”
I shook my head. “I don't get it.”
“She has her ways,” Rosalin said again, but this time in a cryptically pretentious tone.
I slipped off of the counter.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Home. I need a shower.”
“Lenorre has a shower.”
“I need my shower, and my clothes.”